so, the secret's out.

i hate to shatter any images you might have had of me, but obviously, i'm not perfect & i am far from being super mom. i'm the first to admit that being a mom is hard, hard work. but luckily, as we have so recently learned, "we're all in this together." sure, it might be a line from a cheesy disney movie (which i love btw, bring on the cheese baby!), but... cheesey or not, the words definitely ring true. it's kinda like our very own, very special mom anthem:

everyone (every mom) is special in their own way
we make each other strong
we're not the same
we're different in a good way
together's where we belong

we're all in this together
once we know
that we are
we're all stars
and we see that
we're all in this together

i love that... "we're all in this together!" suddenly i don't feel so alone. because, often times, that's exactly how i feel - alone. when you are deep in the throws of motherhood, it's easy to think that you're all alone, that no one has ever felt this way before, or would understand what you're going through. but luckily, this isn't true. mothers all over the world, at this exact moment, are having the exact same feelings & emotions. together we can share our experiences & frustrations, our disappointments & joys, and together "we make each other strong."

so today i thank YOU... thank you for encouraging me. thank you for being a shoulder to lean on. thank you for inspiring me. thank you for listening to me. thank you for sharing your experiences with me. thank you for not judging me. thank you for always being there. thank you for making me stronger. we are definitely "all in this together."

in the end, all i can hope for, all anyone can hope for, is to my best & follow mr. lincoln's advice: "whatever you are, be a good one." so, i might not be super mom, & might be far from perfect. but, in the end, at least i know (& hopefully one day my kids will know) that i am always, always doing my best. & that's what's really important.

so, let's make a promise to each other today... let's promise that we will continue to be "all in this together." let's continue to create "a judgment-free zone, a sisterhood of motherhood where anything goes" in the words of oprah. & together, let's promise, that we will continue to do our best & forget all those silly expectations. so who's with me - any one want to pinkie swear?

image via here.

the truth about motherhood.

going on month number two in little charlie's life, i still find myself pretty much housebound. that's right, i haven't quite gotten the hang of taking three kids out on the town. & as much as i'd prefer to be crafting, holding my little baby, doesn't leave much time for projects. so, these days i find myself watching lots of tv. did you happen to catch oprah's the truth about motherhood episode? maybe it's just the stage (of life) i'm in right now, but i swear the entire show was the extension of an on-going conversation playing inside my head. everything they said, i could totally relate to... "oprah is saluting moms everywhere and letting them know they have support. 'we hear from mothers all the time who say they feel alone. they feel overwhelmed; they feel sometimes inadequate. and you say you're afraid to admit the truth for fear of bing judge," oprah says. 'so today we're creating a judgment-free zone, a sisterhood of motherhood where anything goes."

when they said "the expectations we have on ourselves is completely unrealistic. this generation of women was raised to believe that we should and could do it all... and that list (of expectations) is so huge that we think if we can't live up to that, then we're not good moms." i wanted to shout: AMEN! & i couldn't agree more with the idea that "the one universal truth about motherhood seems to be that no one ever tells you what to really expect." so, today, i too am "creating a judgment-free zone, a sisterhood of motherhood where anything goes". & although i LOVE being a mom, (i really, really do!), sometimes, i wish i had been more prepared for motherhood, if you know what i mean. so, here are some of the truths about motherhood, that no one remembered to tell me. maybe someone else can benefit, or possibly at least relate...

* every woman doesn't LOVE being prego. there definitely are some women who do, but i wasn't one of them. i hated getting fat, i never had that "pregnancy glow". all in all, pregnancy isn't exactly my favorite stage in life.
* recovery AFTER the delivery can sometimes be harder, and worse, than the actual delivery. (i was put on bed rest for 6 weeks after i had gavin.)
* stay in the hospital as long as possible. you might be bored & lonely, but when you go home, you're on your own. at least in the hospital you can call a nurse for help.
* i must not have paid very good attention during health class, because i did not realize i would bleed for weeks. (a bit personal, i know, but a truth about motherhood that i did not know.)
* breastfeeding might be natural, but it is definitely NOT easy & often times it can be painful
* hemorrhoids, 'nuf said!
* your boobs will never be perfect again... they'll get super huge (& probably painful while engorged), & then they'll shrink down, practically becoming indentations.
* just because you carried the baby for nine months, doesn't mean you can soothe & quiet them when they are screaming bloody murder, for hours & hours on end.
* sometimes, you'll go days without showering. a pony tail will become your new 'do, a hat your new best friend, & you can go hours without realizing you haven't eaten anything.
* finding the energy & time to do all the things you "used" to do isn't going to be easy
* sleeping more than 2 hours in a row should be considered a luxury
* getting the time & energy to clean the house, fold the laundry, or load the dishwasher will make you feel like you've won the lottery
* counting the number of wet & dirty diapers will become your new hobby
* you'll find yourself thinking "of a day as units of time, each unit consisting of no more than thirty minutes. Full hours can be a little bit intimidating and most activities take about half an hour. Taking a bath: one unit, watching countdown: one unit, web-based research: two units, exercising: three units, having my hair carefully disheveled: four units. It's amazing how the day fills up. (especially when you are feeding the baby every 6 units!)"via about a boy.
* in the end, holding your little baby, seeing them smile, hearing them laugh... will make you forget everything else, as though it never happened, & make you willing to possibly, do it all over again.
edited to add:
* i always knew i was going to breastfeed, i just was never prepared for how much i could (and would) leak. i didn't realize that i could soak through my shirt, even while wearing a nursing pad.
* i wasn't prepared for being man-handled by everyone. i didn't realize that i would also get used to totally strangers grabbing & "feeling up" my boobs.

so, your turn. what are some of the truths about motherhood that you wished someone had told you? what's the real scoop on motherhood?

please excuse us, we're tired & cranky.

i don't want to complain, because that's not really my nature, although, i have no problem making excuses... so, i'm sorry if i haven't called you back. i'm sorry if you've emailed & received no reply back from me. i'm sorry if you've commented on the blog & i haven't made the effort to visit yours. i can assure you this isn't typical kelly behavior. after all, my mother did raise me with manners, & just a touch of class. but these days, with two wild & crazy boys competing for their moms attention, one hyper dog, a few cases of thrush, several sleepless nights & a baby who wants needs requires to be held 24/7, all adds up to one mom who isn't exactly a happy camper. & i know, i know... "this to shall pass." i'm just hoping it will pass soon! until then, i just keep repeating to myself "keep calm & carry on." so again i must apologize... if we happen to chat & i'm not overly bubbly & enthusiastic, or if i'm not posting as much to the blog, as often as usual - just understand how hard it is to do all these things with a screaming baby in your arms, two little boys nagging at you to bake them cookies, all the while, all you want to do is sleep (& maybe take a quiet, peaceful shower). hopefully the "sun will come out, tomorrow." until then, i'm hoping i can "keep calm and carry on."

image via anne taintor.

before & after.

six weeks later, i am still amazed that i am no longer pregnant & that my little girl is finally here - ready to be cuddled & loved. as you can imagine, i don't get much done these days because most of my time is spent, simply staring at her. & although i usually try to avoid the camera's lens while pregnant, i have to admit i'm glad i was talked into encouraged to do THIS photo shoot. now i can always remember the before & after.

images via ana brandt

playing dress up.

okay, okay... i've got something to admit. i'm kinda getting used to the whole "girly" thing, & a little bit of pink, doesn't exactly mean the end of the world. i'm slowly adjusting to this new life, with this new little girl. & it's definitely true what they say... dressing the little princess for the day is way more fun than the boys ever were. there's just something magical about ruffles & lace. 

charlie's world.

if you've been following my baby drama, then you know i was having a tough time making any kind of decision regarding the newest little princess' palace. which quilt to hang, what color to paint the dresser, blah blah blah. at that "point in my life," i felt like these decisions were uber-important... you know, a "make it, or break it" type of thing. but we all know, that was just the hormones talking.

after agonizing over the decisions for weeks, boring my hubby, mom & friends by constantly asking them over & over again for their opinion, i still couldn't make up my mind. the night before going to the hospital i must have changed the quilt on the wall four different times. eventually i settled on one i thought i like best. but there still wasn't anything on the walls. we packed up the boys & headed out in search of some "artwork"... there's nothing like last minute. we did find a little something, but i still wasn't exactly loving the room, but with a hospital stay drawing nearer to my future i finally decided i would just deal with it all later.

luckily for me though i have a doll of a hubby. while i was vacationing at the hospital, the hubby, my mil & the boys were playing "surprise by design." as i sipped apple juice & feasted on crushed ice they were painting, decorating & putting the finishing touches on charlie's world...

she's done cooking.

almost every day for the past nine months, gavin has asked the same question "is the baby done cooking yet?" after months of anticipation & preparation, we can finally answer "YES!" but, if you've been following me on twitter, you probably already knew that. (missed the play-by-play action? you can catch up on all the recent happenings HERE.) anyway, without further ado, i'm pleased to introduce you to our little bundle of joy...

charlie (charlotte) mae. born saturday, may 2, 2009. 2:20 pm. 7 lbs. & 19 inches.

the boys are already smitten with her (as are we!), so it looks like we are going to keep her. & i might be a tad biased, but one look at her chubby cheeks, button nose, rosebud lips & mini fro-hawk and i can pretty much guarantee - she will melt your heart.

today's the day.

yep! yep! the BIG day is finally here. it's amazing - even with a deadline, i still don't feel ready. and yet, the fact that i can no longer see my toes tells me otherwise. i did manage to get almost everything done on my ginormous list of to-dos (which might help explain my lack of posts lately). the nursery is kinda done (i'm not sure i LOVE it yet, but we wre getting there), i finally bought some diapers, there are lots of frozen meals in the freezer, my bag is packed, the cameras are charged, car seat is installed... it's time to pop this baby out.

so, i might be just a bit busy over the nexy few days... if you don't hear from me, no worries. in the meantime, if you happen to miss me, check me out HERE on twitter - i'm sure i'll have lots to say.

what was once new...

i had big plans for recycling a dresser, similar to what we had done HERE. but unfortunately, i just couldn't find the right piece of furniture. scratch that.... i couldn't find anything. you would think that months of searching thrift stores & garage stores, i would have found something. but nope - nada. the few things i did find were small & really, really, really over-priced. so, we ended up with something from ikea. the only drawback to our to our nice, new dresser was that it was powder blue.... which doesn't exactly scream little girl. luckily, a can of paint is cheap. so we slopped on the paint (literally, because i don't like things that look perfectly perfect), took some sand paper to it, added a few vintage-esque knobs & viola! we have ourselves a new, old dresser.

progress.

her walls are still (& probably will remain) a boring shade of beige. the recently purchased dresser is still powder blue & there isn't a whole lot hanging in her closet. but yesterday, i did manage to hang a quilt on the wall, silently proclaiming the room "hers". granted, i'm not promising that this particular quilt will stay on the wall, i am retaining the right to possibly make a change, depending on how this quilt turns out. but for now, it'll due. so, just in case you were starting to worry that she was going to make her grand entrance into this world, & i wasn't going to be prepared (because let's face it, you might not be worried about that, but i certainly am)... i am still taking those "baby steps", slowly, ever so slowly i'm making progress.

just in case you doubted me...

just in case you thought there was a slight possibility that i was exaggerating just a touch regrading my current mental state - here's some proof. randomly & totally out of the blue, this week i decided i needed to sew a quilt for the baby. mind you, i've already sewn one quilt & several blankets. what i really should be working on is stocking her boudoir with clothes, that she might actually wear. but no, the bee in my bonnet insisted i sew another quilt... i was a little worried that my the other quilt i had made was a bit too girly - because it had purple & pink in it, gasp! so, i thought i needed another, more subtle-ly pink quilt. anyway, long story short - i sewed the quilt. but, when all was said & done, there were two patchwork squares driving me crazy. one square had two pieces of the exact same fabric touching at the corners (yes! just the corners were touching). the other square had two pieces of the exact same fabric separated by only one small square. when i actually thought about it, i knew i was being crazy. hello?! the ENTIRE quilt is patchwork. lots of different fabrics going on there. no one would ever notice, except for me. & yet, all day long, i kept looking at that quilt, letting those two little squares eat me up inside. until finally, i picked up my trusty seam reaper, un-picked my way to those devilish little squares & fixed the problem. when i was done, i really & truly felt like i could breathe again.

believe me now? i'm definitely on the fast-track to the funny farm. hopefully this baby arrives before i make it the entire way.

bob the builder.

this morning we've been keeping busy. the boys have been "consolidated" into one room, amazingly. so now it's time to get to work girl-ifying the princess' new royal palace. i had the brilliant idea of picking up an old beat up dresser at one of the local thrift shops & making it purr-ty, like we did HERE. would you believe that all of dressers i came across were super pricey, like over $200! hello?! so, instead, we decided to go pick something up from ikea. assembling it this morning gave me a good chance to do some bonding with the boys. seeing that i was able to assemble the dresser with the actual help of two little boys & an elmo hammer - i hoping that speaks more to the brilliance & simplicity of ikea, as opposed to really shoddy craftsmanship. i guess we will see. now we just have to decide what color to paint the dresser, the baby blue just doesn't seem fitting.

advice, please.

life these days is crazy, wouldn't you agree? maybe it's just my hormones, but one minute i'm flying high & the next i'm totally overwhelmed. i keep telling myself that i'm totally prepared for this baby... that was, until one of my best friends (who is due just a few weeks before me) just happened to have her baby today. oh heavens! suddenly my world is whirling around me... more than likely, this baby isn't coming early, but the possibility makes me a little crazy!

when i actually stop & think about it, i know have all that i "need". already having two kids, pretty much prepares you. sure, her room might not be ready, i have yet to purchase a single outfit for her, i haven't even acquired the required slew of headbands & bows that loudly proclaim "i'm a girl!". but if push came to shove, i could send the hubby to the store to buy some infant diapers, put the infant car seat back in the car & break out a few of the infant gowns currently being stored in the garage (i figure i have at least five years to come up with a good story to explain to her why everything she wore was blue for the first little while). however, if i can have things "my way", every single little "to do" will be done, all my i's will be dotted & every t crossed.

so while i'm busy "making my list & checking it twice", i'd love to hear your thoughts on a few matters...

- anyone have a favorite baby bag? being a purse-a-holic, i've gone through several baby bags... petunia pickle bottom, kate spade, & harvey's to name a few, but i'm on the lookout for something new. i prefer baby bags that don't look like baby bags, does that make sense? any recommendations?

- what about car seats? with both of my boys i used an infant car seat, you know the kind that has an infant carrier that attached to a base. with gavin, i used the carrier EVERYWHERE. with owen, i found i didn't use the carrier nearly as much as i thought i would - lugging the baby carrier & running after a 2 year old was harder than i had imagined. so the decision i've been trying to make lately is... should i stick with the infant car seat, or should i go with the convertible car seat? the biggest pro with sticking with the infant car seat is that i already own one, so i won't really have to purchase anything. however, that means, that i'll have to put gavin's big, bulky convertible car seat in the third row, which also involves me having to climb back to the third row to strap him in. or, i could put the infant in the big, bulky convertible car seat (facing backwards of course) & move gavin up to a booster. thoughts? any experience in this area? if you've used a convertible car seat with any infant, did you love it? or did you wish you had a carrier to detach?

- room sharing. currently both boys have their own rooms. but with only three bedrooms, someone's going to have to share. the question is, should i move the boys in together, or put the baby & little o together. i think the boys would have a blast, after gavin got used to it. but, owen still naps, so their would be large chunks of the day when gavin won't be able to go into his room. but, would two napping babies in one room be crazy?

- what "must-haves" do you pack to take to the hospital?

- any other favorite baby items & accessories that i just need to have?

thanks so much in advance for all your advice & suggestions, i can't wait to hear what you have to say!

potty training?

so the countdown has begun! less than two months until the soon-to-be pampered princess is scheduled to make her arrival. am i ready? not really. but, that "nesting" urge has definitely started to take over. suddenly i'm feeling the urge to take a toothbrush to the baseboards & make sure they really are clean. the other urge i'm feeling, but trying hard to resist, is the need, no want, to potty-train owen.

with gavin, i didn't even attemp to potty-train until he was 3 - but mostly because i was too lazy, & he had no interest at all. but when i did decide to train him, it was fairly quick & easy. little o has just turned 2. which, in my mind, seems rather young, but he is showing an interest. although, he definitely doesn't really "get it". the idea of only having one in diapers is wonderful, but am i dreaming? if i potty-train with only two months to go, will he just revert to diapers after the baby comes? will all the effort be a waste of time or will this be the best decision i've ever made? thoughts? theories? any experience on the matter you'd like to share?

image via anne taintor

you'd be so proud...

look what i broke out this weekend. a big 'ole bottle of PINK dye. i'm baby stepping my way there, but i'm slowly surrendering myself to the pink revolution.

work in progress.

i have to admit, it's still hard to believe that i'm having a girl. already outnumbered 3 to 1, i was totally prepared to hear that another boy was on the way. so, it's taken some time to adjust to the fact that this little one will be bundled in a little bit more pink than blue. & to tell you the truth, the thought of all that pink kinda scares me! so i'm starting slowly, i wouldn't want to overwhelm my senses. this first quilt is actually more blue, with just a few touches of pink... it's all about the baby steps.

tickled pink.

did i mention i was pregnant?

crafting sophisticated onesies.

today our crafting was inspired. as moms to boys, chelsey & i were feeling the itch to make something cutesy & frilly... perfect for the little girls we don't have. now, we just have to figure out who to give them to.

nymcn wrap up.

how did you let me forget to post about not your mama's craft night? we had the best time doing t-shirt transformations. the house was full of gals, sewing machines, good snacks & lots of conversation. using some old t-shirts we made tons of infant gowns (check it out up close & personal-like by clicking on the picture). some of the gals re-fashioned some men's tees into shirts fitted especially for them, t-shirt dresses, bedazzled lounge pants (& yes, i said bedazzled!), & tons of of tee's were transformed into pint-sized clothes for the little kiddos in our lives.... lots of stuff going on. everything was so dang cute. i made my infant gown as a gift, & i'll admit i had a hard time giving it away... it was so soft, & boy how i loved those cowboy boots. i'm too lazy to post any other pictures... so check out what carrie, chelsey & chloe made. want to make your own? check out some of the links HERE.

while we're on the subject of traveling...

i love all things travel related... mini suitcases, vintage luggage labels, old travel postcards & posters. (i think you get the idea.) but most of all, i love maps. big or small, flat or round, i love them all. so it's no surprise to me, that while watching one of my favorite guilty pleasures, the wall map totally caught my eye. (click on the picture to enlarge it.) i've always loved the idea of having a huge wall map... either in the kid's room or perhaps in a game room or office. i've toyed with the idea of "sticking pins" in the places we've visited, but this idea is so much better. instead of your basic push pin, they've used postcards & pictures to signify special locations. i loved it when the little boy was asked "do you remember where england is?" & he replied "it's the one with the big clock". i seriously LOVE this idea, it goes way behind your basic geography lesson. i found a similar map HERE, unfortunately they are all sold out, although i did spy a few on ebay. obviously there are probably hundreds of map options out there, but i kinda like THIS one, THIS one, or THIS one. oh, & THIS one too.