i'm almost off the soap box.

i've been up on the soap box alot lately. i don't know, maybe you hadn't even noticed. but, i feel like i've been doing a lot of ranting & speculating on life. i think i'm almost done, at least for the time being. but i've got all of these thoughts, swimming inside my head, and this is one of the few places i can let it all out. which is exactly what i need to do today.

usually i am like an emotional fortress, i try very hard, to not let anything phase me. it's kind of a sad joke in our family actually... we tell people we don't have emotions. in fact, when jeff met me, his private nick name for me was the "ice princess." i don't do it on purpose. actually, that's a total lie. i do do it on purpose. in my experience it tends to be easier for me to keep my feelings and emotions tied up neatly inside, rather than wear them on my sleeve for the world to see. but yesterday, that brick wall that i have so patiently built up around myself cracked. there i was, standing at a microphone in front of hundreds of people, speaking... generally i am very well composed person. generally i can talk in front of large groups without much issue. generally i am very comfortable in situations like this. yet yesterday, i immediately broke down in tears. i don't know why. okay, that's another lie. i do know why, but i hate the reason. this was the second time in my short life (remember we have already established several posts ago how young i am!) that i have had to stand and speak at a funeral. trust me, it is definitely not my favorite thing in the world. and although it was a wonderful forum to celebrate the wonderful and incredible life of my uncle bug, i can't help but be angry that yet another person i love has been taken from this earth. okay, okay, you caught me again! that's another lie. he wasn't really "taken from this earth," he has simply joined my dad on that annoyingly long business trip that has prevented him from coming home for weddings, birhthdays and christmas over the last several years.

all i can do now is focus on the amazing life uncle bug led. he was the type of person that you could meet just once, yet he would leave an impression that would last a lifetime. he was adventurous and fun loving. always loved a good joke or prank & he was probably one of the greatest BSers that ever lived. he was also incredibly kind, loving and compassionate. he was one of the most generous people i have ever known & would literally give you the shirt off his back. he lived his life by the simple motto "life's too short." and so today i challenge you, to really look at your life. make a mental note of the person you want to be and the life you want to live and go after it. in the words of alred souza:

Dance as though no one is watching you. Love as though you have never been hurt before. Sing as though no one can hear you. Live as though heaven is on earth.

you better get going... remember, life's too short!